Attachment Theory
This theory identifies the strong bonds we develop over a life time and how it is painful when we lose someone we love. Simply, the stronger the attachment, the greater the grief will be when you are separated. The greater the attachment, the more difficulty one will have in the recovering from the loss. The greater the attachment, the greater the grief. In simple terms, the greater the love, the greater the loss.
- More information can be found in Theresa Rando’s book, “Grief, Dying, and Death.”
Tasks of Mourning
This theory sees grieving as a task to be accomplished rather than stages to experience. This theory grief as involving four basic tasks: 1) accept the reality of the loss, 2) process the pain of the loss, 3) adjust to the world without the deceased, and 4) find a way to remember the deceased while embarking on the rest of one’s journey through life.
- More information can be found in J. William Worden’s book, “Grief Counseling.”
Continuing Bonds
This theory recognizes that a relationship with someone deceased does not necessarily mean an end to the relationship, but rather a change in the relationship. It examines how a relationship may continue to exist with the deceased. The theorist that developed this theory acknowledged that continuing bonds exist various forms: First, the person may live on in the memory. Second, the continuing bond is lives on in a lasting legacy. Third, “some people feel that their deceased loved ones watch over and protect them.”
- More information can be found in Melissa Kelly’s book, “Contemporary Theory and Practice of Ministry.”
Dual Process Model
This theory sees grief as having two sides that oscillate back and forth, a loss-oriented side that expresses itself through suffering, and restoration-oriented side that expresses itself in healing. The belief is that a person oscillates between the two emotional processes, thus given the name dual process model. When grief is new to a person, they will experience more of the loss-oriented side of grief. Eventually, as the loss is accepted, a person will experience more of the restoration-oriented side of grief.
- This theory was developed by Margaret Strobe and Henk Schut, and more information can be found in the OMEGA- Journal of Death and Dying.
Meaning Reconstruction
This theory of grief looks at how a person’s view of life changes after losing a loved one. After a loss, we have to reconstruct our world without the presence of our loved one. Thus, our life story changes, whether we want it to or not. As such, the person’s life story changes with every loss and reconstruction of meaning. In simple terms, once you lose someone close to you, your life story changes, and a new story develops.
- This theory was developed by Robert A. Neimeyer, and more can be learned about this theory in the book Grief and Bereavement in Contemporary Society.
Intuitively vs Instrumental Grieving
In this theory, two types of grieving are identified, instrumental and intuitive. People who are instrumental in their grief, often handle their grief within themselves, and show very outward expression of their grief. People who are intuitive in their grief are more emotional and express their grief outwardly, such as crying and venting. Thus, intuitive grievers are given to their emotions, while instrumental grievers usually contain their grieving within their thought processes. Also, people may vary between the two types of grief.
- More can be learned about this through Kenneth Doka’s book, Grieving Beyond Gender.
GEC (Grief Education Center) 