Genesis 35:8, “Now Deborah, Rebekah’s nurse, died and was buried under the oak below Bethuel. so it was named Allon Bacuth.” (Allon Bacuth means “oak of weeping.”)
In this passage, we see the importance of places when it comes to grief. As we experience the loss of family or close friends, often certain places we grieve become hallowed ground. In the case of Rebekah’s servant, Deborah, Rebekah mourned greatly for the loss of her personal aide, so much so that they named her place of burial the “oak of weeping.”
Certain places, especially cemeteries, become places of weeping. These places become important in the grieving process as they are comfortable places to cry and express feelings without the worry of being judged by others. They allow for the full expression of feelings. A cemetery is the most common, but there could be other places, such as the family home, or even places in nature, such as a lake or stream.
The essence of the “oak of weeping” is that everyone needs a safe place to freely express the pain of the loss. Everyone needs a safe place to “let it all out.” Everyone needs a safe place to express their pain, anger, tears, screams of anguish, and even the wailing that may accompany great loss. Safe places become memorable places that allow us to free everything we hold in when we are in public. Surprisingly, the “oak of weeping” may also become a place we cherish, as it may become the place we feel the closest to the one we lost.
GEC (Grief Education Center) 