Two Trains

In H. Norman Wright’s struggle with losing his spouse, he described grief as two trains that show up outside your front door. Let’s let Dr. Wright explain it…..

“It’s as though I entered a train station with two different sets of tracks and a train on each one. Most engines have names as did these two. One is named “Without” and the other is “Blessings.” At this time the “without” train is raging and has a full head of steam, ready to move in a second. The “blessings” train is sitting quietly. Every now and then it may let out a tiny puff of steam, but the other train is the one that forges ahead.”

“Someday…one day…the “without” train and its energy will begin to diminish. Its wheels will slow and its momentum will fade. Slowly, ever so slowly, it will fall behind its counterpart, and eventually, the “blessings” train will catch up with and pass the “without” train. The past will become a distant speck.”

“Once in a while “without” may forge ahead again, but it can’t sustain its former pace. For some reason it has to make its presence known. Perhaps it comes because some of the memories have dimmed and there’s a subconscious fear of forgetting the one who was loved. The train’s momentum is a cry to the memory of the loved one. “See, you haven’t forgotten….and you never will be!” And the “without” train falls behind again. And perhaps someday its wheels will slow even more, even grinding to a stop. A great sigh will come from the engine as it rests. “Without” has accepted you’re moving on in life. Its presence is no longer because someday “without” will be replaced by “together” again.”

Reflections of a Grieving Spouse, H. Norman Wright, page 31.