Devotional: The Loss of A Spouse

Genesis 23:1, “Sarah lived to be 127 years old, she died… and Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her.”

Abraham suffered the loss of his wife and it was devastating. Sarah had been by his side through thick and thin, in the good times and in the bad. Sarah had seen Abraham at his best and at his worst and was there until the end of her life. She was faithful to Abraham!

The loss was devastating, not only because of the love they shared but the life they shared. With every loss comes multiple secondary losses. Every role your spouse filled in your life leaves a void. Abraham not only lost his wife, but he also lost his best friend, comforter, encourager, lover, and much, much more. The list goes on! With every loss, there are between 20 to 30 secondary losses, many of which you never see coming. The shock of losing your spouse is multiplied by the secondary losses you face. Many of your secondary losses may be obvious, but most will surface later as things you never thought about. When it hits you, it will often leave you in a state of shock.

The things that shock you may be something big or small. It may be as big as having to pay the bills that your spouse always took care of, or it can be as small as putting on a new car tag. We often fret over the big things and take the simple things for granted, but the little things keep surfacing after a loss. During the first year it seems that these secondary losses come in unending waves, while you are still trying to catch your breath from the last wave. It is during these times that you will struggle with staying afloat, and often wonder if you will stay afloat or even have the desire to stay afloat.

It is at this point when you need to reach out to family and friends for support. If you have adult children, they may have to do a little more than they are used to doing, and that is okay. It may be that you ask a neighbor or a friend to help, or possibly someone from your church. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Most people will help with whatever you need, if they only know about it.

Proverbs 27:10b, “better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away.”