Devotional: “I’m Not Okay”

I’m Not Okay!

John 11:32, “When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

I’ve recently received a message from one of our readers that expressed the emotional pain she is experiencing after losing her husband to a brief illness. They had been married thirty years, successfully launched their three young adult children, and were looking forward to growing old together. The last words in her message were, “I’m not okay.”

As we look at the words of Mary, after her brother’s death, she is basically saying, “I’m not okay.” She had sent word to Jesus that Lazarus was sick. He had plenty of time to get there. Jesus didn’t show up. She was hurt and she wanted Him to know it. The reality for Mary and Martha at the death of Lazarus was one of grief and emotional pain. They were hurting. They were not “okay.”

The one thing they did do correctly was to give their pain to Jesus. Both of them were quick to ask Jesus, “Why?” “Why did you not come?” “Why did you not show up?” “If you had only shown up!” These were cries of emotional pain, that frankly touched the heart of Christ. We see in verse 33, “When Jesus saw her weeping….he was deeply moved in spirit and it troubled him.” In verse 35, we see that “Jesus wept.”

Today, you may be drowning in the emotional pain of your grief. Christians are not immune to death and loss. None of us are immune, though we wish we were. And the truth is, correct theology won’t prevent you from grieving your loss. To quote C.S. Lewis after the loss of his wife, “The greater the love, the greater the loss.” I want to let you know that it is “okay” to not be “okay.” In fact, if you were “okay” after a significant loss, it would be abnormal, anything but normal.

I would like to encourage you to give your emotional pain to the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your cares (grief, emotional pain, anxiety, worries) upon him because he cares for you.” He loves you no less than Mary and Martha. If they could cast their cares upon Him, I know you can. I want to encourage you to give Jesus your pain. Cast it all upon Him. Let him know that you are not “okay.”

Also, remember that the recurring name of the Holy Spirit is that of “Comforter” (John 14:26) and that God is the “Father of all mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction,…” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). The emotional pain of your loss may be too acute for you to feel comforted at this time, but keep giving your pain to the Lord and in time the Comforter will do His work.

May the Lord bless you and comfort you through your time of grieving, as you cast all your cares upon Him.